It was in August in 2006 when the 1st MBBS results were declared. I was a happy man then with the result. I had stood 2nd in the batch of over 100 people. Moreover an honours award in Biochemistry was also awarded to me for securing more than 75% marks in the subject. It was a result of the hard work by me combined with the sincere efforts of my uncle Dr. Achal Sir who happened to be the head of the deptt at that time.
I was expecting the hons and the good result as did some of my true friends also for me. But for some in the batch, it was an hons got only by the mercy of the h.o.d. My near friends knew whether I deserved that or not but for others it was not easily getiing down their throat. What followed for me was a real ugly row of allegations for more than a month atleast.
I had to face all kind of ugly talks wherever I was going. Everybody was busy in putting forth their own opinion on how I got the hons. As many as opinions as people in the batch. There remained no place in the college where I could live without hearing anything wrong regarding this. Many real faces revealed which so far were covered with masks of a so called true friend. Some people hesitated to say anything in front of me but at the back they were the same as others. Barring a few I could talk to none.
It was just because I am the son of a faculty and the h.o.d of the subject in which I got the hons was my relative, I had to face so much of the humiliation that led me to think that why I got the hons. It would have been better if I had not got the hons. Anyway, it was not something for which I would fall back. I had to move forwards. I had to motivate myself for getting a good result in the upcoming exam and prove everyone wrong. I faced everything with a smile on my face. I took everything in good spirit and made it the inspiration for me to perform even better.
This is in March in 2008 when the 2nd MBBS results are declared. Much of time has passed since August 2006. Many things have changed since then. What has not changed is the way the people are reacting to my result. I have got an hons in Forensic Medicine and this time I can say that it is a result only of sincere devoted effort by me. My hardwork this time is reflected in my result. I have again stood 2nd in the batch and also got a gold medal for being topper in Pathology+Microbiology combined. This time, nobody like Dr Achal sir was there. Still I have managed to get such good marks in every subject.
7th March, 2008
This was an exam which I appeared in with so much of pressure and so much of things to prove. I had to prove my parents that I have not sit back after getting one good result. I had to prove them that I am not being distracted from studies towards other things in the college. I had to maintain the high standards that I had set for myself after doing good in the 1st MBBS. I had to prove everybody wrong who, at the first time, thought that my good result was not a fair one. Most important of all, I had to prove myself that the earlier hons was not completely a mercy of the H.O.D.
The day I knew about my 2nd MBBS result, I was relieved that I had successfully managed to reach every target which I had set for myself. I was happy that I had proved all my critics wrong. But..........................................................................................................................................................................
Have i been able to do this? Everything that followed the 1st MBBS results is repeating itself again. The same row of allegations are again on their way.
Why this time? Why I have to face everything this time again? OK, it was acceptable to me the last time as the hons then was not solely mine. It was OK with me the last time but WHY AGAIN? Why again the same humiliation? Why again face everything that came my way the last time?
Till now I have not faced many people in the batch but I won't deny that I don't want to face many. I don't want to be in front of all those ugly faces again. I don't want to look into all those eyes which are staring at me as if I have committed some crime. I don't want to talk to all such people whose voice box when produces sound, comes out as an allegation for me.
How many times I will have to face all this? For how long I will have to face all this? Whether it would come to an end or not? WILL I EVER HAVE THE ANSWERS TO THESE WHY's, WHEN's and WHETHER's????????????????????????????????????????????????????
2 comments:
Wow, Aashu this was really wonderfully written!! I thought you must have written something on your blog and so I came here...
I had no idea you had to go through all this that time but I can understand well how it must have happened and how it must have felt. Jealousy and resentment are natural emotions, and it is these which make people impute motives and hurl allegations... Am not defending them but just saying that you need not be so hard on other people once you understand this :) But yes it does show you who your real friends are...
Hey nic post wid a lot of emotional overflow...Not everyone can digest friend's academic superiority...its natural...and its more obvious when u r studying with ambitious and successful people who r unable to digest their defeats...so laugh on such rubbish talks and stay cool...wishing u more success in ur future...
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